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01:26am 21/07/2010
   Rowr I am here.  

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I'm not going to be posting in this journal anymore.   
02:28pm 08/11/2004
  If I want you to read my shit, I'll friend you in my new one.  

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Marriage is a privilege?   
10:56am 06/11/2004
  Fuck me. Why, I thought it was my right to have happiness, or a tax break once in a while, or even be legally recognized as someone with a spouse.

My my. If a man and a woman can get married and raise perfect, loving, non-druggy/alcohol heterosexual children, then they should only have kids. NOTHING is scientifically proven. All scientests are biased, despite anything. Some say that kids by just TWO parents are better off, hell, I'm sure a scientest stated that people raised in an orphanage are better because they get less touch and attention (which is complete bullshit).

If I meet someone, and I love them, and we want to get married, I would LOVE not to have to move to the COUNTRY ABOVE US to get married. I would LOVE to not have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me each day because I adore a girl.

Given the chance to choose between heterosexuality or homosexuality? I would pick the girls. I love girls. I care very much for MY girl.

It is NOT a privilage to be accepted by ones general government, it is NOT a privilage to want to be aknowledged as BOUND to someone for LIFE. It is a fucking RIGHT. It is MY Goddamn right as a lesbian!

Fuck what a government can or cannot do. They are basing the ban on the BIBLE. Shrub has admitted that the Bible is HIS lawbook. It is against the bible, and so it is right. He doesn't give a shit how kids are raised. I can understand if Christians don't want other married by Christian priests - That is THEIR RELIGION. But I am WICCAN. By MY religion, you can marry anyone you bloody fucking well PLEASE, but I still CANT because of the BAN.

Marriage is RELIGION. It is NOT up to the government. FUCK BUSH. My RIGHT to get married is by my RELIGION an dPERSONAL beliefs. If I want a handfasting with another woman - which I WILL eventually, godsdamnit - then I SHOULD. The government an dtheir redneck, stupid fucking ways should NOT tell me what I can or cannot do in my pasifistic, recognized religion.

So fuck that.

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07:50pm 03/11/2004
  You're not gonna read this for a while, but I love it when I hold you.

You smell nice and I love kissing you.

So there. <3

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05:42am 03/11/2004

Don't win.

Don't FUCKING win, Bush. This is the LAST thing we need.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

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09:44pm 01/11/2004
  So. I haven't been updating in a while. Well..A lot has happened this last week and such. Things have been..better. I have a Tiff to snugglecuddle with and such. It makes me happy. Schoolwork is...bleh. Work is bleh. Bleg bleh bleh.


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06:13am 28/10/2004


My lovely friend, Andrea, made this wonderful thing. It's going to be on the NEXT t-shirt I make.

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Dear a certian psycho,   
09:23pm 27/10/2004
  You don't like me, but you sure lusted after me enough when we spoke. You sure went nutso on me enough. And you're still harassing people who don't like you.


Someone needs more help then what little therapy she's getting.

Burn in hell, lyn.

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04:25pm 26/10/2004
  Hiii, Tiffany  

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03:27pm 23/10/2004
  Lizzie WON! YYAAAAAY!~  

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08:52am 22/10/2004
  I took the day off today. Yesterday wasn't a really good day - I don't know why. A bunch of little things and Kelsey. I told my mother if she left us alone for two days, I'd beat th at girl into the ground. So she asks my father to come over.

Whatever. They're both on her side and according to them, I'm aggressive and evil. Compared to her, anyway.

I'm in a lovely financial strait, and need money like a hooker who owes her pimp a grand for the week and spent it all on crack. Except I spent mine on my mothers Christmas present - STUPIDLY - and I have to pay my car payment. >< Mrrnrr. It upsets me a great deal.

Tiffany gets me in a better mood, but I didn't speak to her yesterday. At all.

I'm just... This hasn't been a good week, at all. I don't want to really RP with many people, I don't want to be busy... I just want to cry.

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Pajama day at school.   
05:49am 19/10/2004

At lweast I get to wear comfieness. :\ No slippers though. It makes me mucho sadness, yes it does.

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01:13pm 15/10/2004
  Y for Yes
N for No
M for Maybe
E for eventually
* for Already Have
_ for I'm Not Answering That

Would you..
( ) buy me a drink if I didn't have money?
( ) take me home for the night?
( ) let me sleep in your bed?
( ) sing car karaoke with me?
( ) sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
( ) come and pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
( ) go out with me?
( ) give me your number?
( ) let me kiss you?
( ) have sex with me?
( ) watch a movie with me... even one u want to see at all?
( ) let me take you out to dinner?
( ) drive me somewhere/anywhere?
( ) take a shower with me?
( ) be my gf/bf?
( ) have a fling with me?
( ) listen to me if I called you, crying, even if you were out with all of your friends?
( ) re-post this for me to answer your questions?

1.)Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>
2.) (Eliminate the asterisks)
3.)See what color you are


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I stole this from teh Mel. xD   
10:00am 15/10/2004
  I'm doing LJ-friends and then real friends, one list of 15, one of 7. Because I'm lazy. Some of my LJ friends I know IRL, so don't be offended when you pop up only on LJ friends, not IRL. I still love you. <33

1. You and your hair rock my socks. I love cuddling/chatting with you each morning - it makes my day a happy one
2. You are a bitch and I hope at Megacon, Joe stabs your eyes with a fucking pen. ^_^v
3. <3 You are my lovely Southern Democratic lovely. One of my best friends. When we meet IRL, I have no doubt we'll just click and cling.
4. We need to talk more. I told you that once and you just laughed. ._.; So you talk to me when you want to because..;o; Just because
5. You're hyper, loud and tterly sexy. XD Stop moping about the bad things in life.
6. Talk Brit! Talk Brit! >> No, really... I try to keep you in good spirits and happy with me, but I'll try harder. <3
7. I'm still gloating because you told me to get a haircut with the hair covering my face, and when I got it chopped off and andy, you told me never to change it because I looked hotter then hell. :D
8. The first girlfriend worth remembering. Oh, sweet jesus, you're awesome. Keep being yourself and FUCK whoever says differently.
9. Rawr. Woof woof woof. So fucking woof. >D I'm changing this cause I can.
10. You hurt my feelings and my body that weekend. Yo udidn't listen to 'stop' or to 'don't do that', and then when we got back, you did nothing but bitch at me until I was forced to block you. I'm sad we still haven't spoken.
11. Yoooou, my Mana-twin~ Have you beenworking on your Cosplay for Otakon? Cause you were cute and we will rock!
12. Sexy, sexy piece of black ass you are. When I go up there, I shall harass you. :3
13. You two were the cutest couple ever! I can't wait to see you again next year!
14. We, too, should talk more. But you're busy with hydrosports. XD
15. You fucking prick. You left, you hurt him, you never came back. You said you were my friend.

1. You draw too well, and so you should die. XD Kidding, lovie hunnie. Such it goes
2. You're my technie bitch, my homie cheese monkey. We hang out too much, but that's okay, I think. We're still good friends - even if we would never date if you were a dyke.
3. You're still very quiet and shy, and apologetic, but I think we're breaking you of that pesky habit. :3 Good.
4. I'm liking you more everyday now.. You make me smile, and you make me happy.
5. You've changed, way too much. It was all her fault, ad she's bad for you.
6. Whore.
7. THREE DAYS! I'm SO happy for you, hun! I'm so fucking glaaaad~ I can't wait to meet him.

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06:23pm 11/10/2004
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
otouto goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Heterosexual.
ashna tricks you! You get a wet rag.
camberly gives you 18 teal vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
carouselshock tricks you! You get a wet rag.
kafeichan gives you 1 white grapefruit-flavoured nuggets.
lilbitzta gives you 9 blue watermelon-flavoured miniature candy bars.
myu_nyu_girl gives you 1 yellow vanilla-flavoured gummy worms.
poemetry gives you 12 teal strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
the__skeptic gives you 8 light blue tropical-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
tonoxtekko gives you 9 mauve tropical-flavoured hard candies.
yasa_kitsune gives you 1 yellow banana-flavoured pieces of taffy.
otouto ends up with 59 pieces of candy, a wet rag, and a wet rag.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

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Oi, Nooozo. XD   
09:17pm 06/10/2004
  A quote of yours I suddenly remembered:

"I dont care what they say! Lesbian sex is NOT about gentleness!"


Just thought i would share

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07:29pm 05/10/2004

This makes me happy inside.

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Today was...bad.   
11:54pm 03/10/2004
  I was just in a bad mood the entire day.

I still am, kinda. Apathetic and just... blah.

RPs are dying a little... it makes me sad. ._.; But everyone's always busy or..something.

Mel, if you can't come down for anything, it's cool. I won't get bent out of shape or hate you or something if you don't wanna come at all and just continue crashing wherever you are.

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04:22pm 02/10/2004

I got the job!

^___^ I go in Friday for some training. 3-5! WOOT~

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11:45pm 25/09/2004
mood: happy
I'm going to be eighteen soon.

That's really really scary when you get down to it. Rather terrifying, in fact. Over the years, things have happened, and I've changed - both for the bad and for the better. I am different then I was.. oh..four years ago, when I would jump up and down and scream and dance when a certian person came online. I've grown, I've become moremature and smarter - people think I'm in my early twenties usually, with how I act and look. Maybe it's something genetic or something I've aquired.

Today, I learned how to hold back tears of something then emotional pain. How I must appear, when people say I'm never upset. Today, in the car, I was upset to the point of tears, but I refused to cry. While my mother drove on, trying to consol me, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My face is very round, and very pale - my glasses are a bit crooked - and my nose is slightly large in comparison to the rest of my features. Not by much, but noticable with the glasses. My eyes were clear, a dark blue, and I looked impassive. Unmovable. Emotionless. Is this why people thought I wasn't emotional enough or too 'old' to have a relationship.

Carole, my therapist, says I act way too old for my body. Somehow, I've grown more then I was supposed to, or something along those lines. I don't really understand it anyway, but I know the difference between right and wrong, when you must commit a wrong to make a right, how to tel true friends from the bad and how not to trust people automatically, especially if you're attracted to them. Learn disgression, and learn to tell the truth - but when and how to tell it is the trick.

My father doesn't want me to be a counseler - especially not for the GLBT community, which is what I'm going to persue. It will help people who have been in my position, my friends position, my exes positions. If I can help people like us, I would never think to do anything else. I love psychology - I love to helkp and talk to people. If I can keep one kid from being thrown from their home because of their orientation, or one MtF can get their operation because they worked things out with me, my job will be worth while. My sister thinks I'm stupid and weird to want a future like that. Full of gay people?! Why would someone want to be a GIRL, or a boy for that matter, if they've lived differently all their lives?

It's shit like that I want to try to change. Opinions like that. They have no choice but to accept me. And that makes me very, very happy.

Only three people have really meant something, to my heart. Wel...four.. But two of those four were superficial, spoiled little people who would sooner see me die then chip a nail. But the other two? They molded me, and how I saw life, far differently then anything else has in my short little lieftime.

There was Mel, and there was Nozo. Or Jess, whichever I feel like saying at the time. Jessica was my girlfriend before Mel, the one who I identified nearly everything with; we liked the same hobbies ( I think the same music), we said things at the same time and we wanted to do the same thing when we grew - write. While I still write, it's not as avidly, and not up to par with a published, professional novel. Luckily, Nozo still does, as Evan or as Jessica or as whoever. And if she's still as good as she was, or half as much, she can do anything her little grrlboi heart wants to do.

After That Phonecall, I hole dmyself in the bathroom and cried. I clawed at my arms and my legs without realizing it, and I cried and cried - there was an actual wall around the bathroom. I can remember something flooding up inside of me and then bursting, covering the bathroom in a shield-like layer. Some people will laugh when they read this, but it's true. Anyone who believes in spirits and in auras, in power and higher things will believe me when I say this. Everyone has magic... It's just how they use it, when and how they develop it... that's how it all differs.

Then came my Mel, my Inu-chan, my little Puppy, who I was supposed to marry and live in Minnesota with. She would be my lawyer, and we would have A Kid. Eventually, after she was established and I was writing full time. It fell through. I don't blame her, although I did at first, last yaer and a half ago. It hurt like a bitch - almost a year, waste dover someone who didn't feel the way I did, who had stopped caring after our six month anniversary. Only about a year later did I fin dout she was lying, and she still loved me. And now she's getting married, or is at least 'promised' to be engaged.

It's not like I'm holding out to have her want me, and only me. She's happy with me. But this has made me realize things about me, as a person, that I don't like admitting. But I'm possesive - I love after relationships end and that's bad.

But still. I'm growing and slowly getting over things (Hell.. I'm not even fully over Jess, despite claims otherwise, and so it'll take awhile for everything else. Hurrah!) and learning to accept myself.

... I don't know what this entire..spiel was about but...

I think maybe I do?

Mel, Jeshka. Thank you guys, for loving me. Even if it was for a little bit, even if you don't anymore, or if you do, but not in 'that' way. Thank you for giving me hope and heart and something to grasp for in the future - people who care about me. You, along with people like Amber or Gloria, Andrea or Rebecca... Without people like y Meggie or even the oddball relatives, without the people I love more then any of you can comprehend, I wouldn't be Me. I wouldn't be Erin Brady.

So thank you. Thank all of you, even those who hate me now because of the past, or those who have ignored me because of the present. Or those who will never speak to me after this year, because of this future. I love each and every one of you, I will always love you. So thank you.

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